Christians, are you paying attention?  The upheaval in the world is hard to escape right now. Between news outlets and social media there has been no shortage of words expressed by various sides to everything going on in the world. So many words flying Mach two through the hearts and minds of people throughout the world. Angry words. Harshwords. False words. Mocking words. Desperate words. 

But most of all, words carefully crafted and purposefully used to create dissension, fear, and division. If there was any doubt about the power of the tongue, the proof is playing out before our eyes unlike any time in recent history. 

Lies 

Lies told repeatedly will subtly and slowly become “truth”. Communication courses teach that if you want people to hear your message, you have to say it to them in three different ways. One of those primary ways is hearing. Listening to something on repeat eventually dulls the senses and our minds accept it as truth. What we think about, we tend to become. For example, if you’ve ever struggled with feeling like you are not good enough, that message started as a one-time thought that became a “once-in-a-while” thought that slowly and subtly morphed into a full-blown identity that ended up guiding your thoughts and decisions. 

Proverbs 18:21 says “the tongue has the power of life and death.” Words matter. What we listen to matters. What we choose to think about matters. Words will either breathe life into us or they will slowly destroy us. 

This deception – this depravity – this evil is hiding in plain sight. John 10:10 tells us “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” John 14:30 tells us that Satan is the ruler over this world. The worldly narrative being spun right now is nothing more than a mission to divide and conquer, create paranoia, and breed hate. It’s republicans vs. democrats; white vs. black; parents vs. school boards; pro-life vs. pro-choice; vaccinated vs. unvaccinated; conservative vs. liberal; believers vs. non-believers – and the list could go on and on. It seems there is someone new to hate, blame, or distrust every week. 

Tolerance

One of the most dangerous lies pushed onto people over the years, is the idea of tolerance. To be tolerant is to be open-minded. In and of itself, this is not a bad thing. Being open-minded is how we continue to learn, grow, and evolve. If we are followers of Jesus Christ, being open-minded to the Holy Spirit’s teaching and prompting is key to our becoming more like Jesus. Where tolerance takes a hard left and leads us away from God is when we are told to tolerate ideologies, lifestyles, and idolatry that runs counter to God’s Word. This is where tolerance goes too far and where we find ourselves today. 

The world is working overtime to water down God’s Word, broaden morality, weaken faith, and confuse and lull believers into submission. The world is talking, and the message of tolerance is being pushed down the throats of every man, woman, and child. Tolerance taken too far is deadly because if we tolerate everything, then nothing is sinful, repentance becomes unneeded, Jesus is unnecessary, and heaven is a given. Until it’s not and then it’s too late.

Worst of all, Christians are playing a part in this destruction. <–Bitter pill? Jesus told us, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). 

Our “tolerance” in the form of not speaking truth with love about the sinfulness of this world and the path that people are on is how we play a part in the enemy’s plan to destroy as many people as possible. 

Loving Our Neighbor

We’ve fallen for the rhetoric that says loving our neighbor equates to a “live and let live” mentality. And while judgement isn’t our calling, sharing, and living the truth is. One of the primary ways we love our neighbor is to share the Truth with them. No, we don’t beat them over the head with it. We don’t condemn them. We don’t condescend them. We introduce them to the whole truth of God’s Word. We plant the seed and leave it to God to do the watering. We remain bold in our faith and honest about what the Bible says. 

Truth with grace – one without the other is ineffective and harmful. Separately, vinegar and baking soda each have a purpose, but when they are combined, a chemical reaction occurs that is powerful. The same is true for truth and grace. Separately, each serves a purpose. Together, they cause a powerful reaction that has a profound effect on those within earshot. 

Unfortunately, closet Christianity is becoming the norm. People are afraid to offend anybody and so they say nothing when they know they should say something. The result is a weak and ineffective faith, a lack of purpose and drive, and Christians who are going through the motions. Purposely offensive isn’t the answer, but neither is “not offending” people all the way to the gates of hell. 

God’s Intolerance Saved Us From Ourselves

Thank God Jesus didn’t follow today’s standard of “tolerance” and the act of tiptoeing around sin so-as to not offend us, because if He had, He wouldn’t have gone to the cross and died for our sins. Tolerance would have left us in our depravity and hoped it all worked out or someone else would step up and save us. 

But God loved us so much that He was intolerant of our sin so He sent His one and only Son to die for us so that we would be set free and spend eternity with Him in heaven. Tolerance by the world’s standards is the pathway to hell and will never bring freedom. If it did, Jesus’ act on the cross would have been unnecessary. 

Society has become increasingly aggressive in its campaign for tolerance and bold faith is becoming harder to find. Bold faith stands up for what God says is right and wrong. Bold faith understands that following Christ will cost something. Bold faith speaks up knowing it will be attacked. Bold faith stands on the Word of God for everything. Bold faith says “no” to the world’s tolerance of sin. Bold faith is hard, uncomfortable, and sometimes lonely. But bold faith is also invigorating, life-changing, soul cleansing, and passion fueling. 

As a follower of Christ…

I believe the Bible is God’s Word and absolute truth. (2 Timothy 3:16, John 17:17, Proverbs 30:5)

I believe Jesus Christ is God’s perfect, sinless Son. (John 3:16, Luke 4:41)

I believe that Jesus died for our sins and those who believe in Him are forgiven and have eternal life. (1 Peter 2:24, 6:23)

I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:22)

I believe that sex is an act between a man and woman and is reserved for marriage. (1 Timothy 1:10, Romans 1:26-27)

I believe that abortion is wrong in all circumstances. (Exodus 20:13, Deuteronomy 27:25)

I believe there are two genders: male and female. (Genesis 1:27, Mark 10:6-9)

Would you say your faith is bold? 

My faith hasn’t always been bold. At times, I’ve found myself afraid to write or post something on social media because it might “offend” somebody. 

But as a follower of Christ our purpose is to speak truth with grace, to stand up for morality, to stand firm on and for God’s Word, to not waiver or water down the gospel, and to share the hope and love of Jesus with as many people as possible before we are called home. This is bold faith in action and what it means to love people.  

Let’s mediate on these verses and ask God to help us have a bold faith. 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted…” 2 Timothy 3:12

So, whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Ephesians 5:11

The lost people of this world need bold faith believers in Christ to lead them to the way, the truth, and the lifebecause no one gets to God without going through Jesus (John 14:16). This assignment has eternal consequences and one that we, as believers, need to take seriously and act with urgency. 

Unravel is available on Kindle & Paperback…

In the previous post “3 Ways Satan Uses Busy to Destroy You” we talked about the damage that living in state of “busy” creates in our lives. Busy is a strategy of the enemy to disconnect, distract, and dismantle. Busy is a battle that we fight daily, but we can’t fight back in battles we don’t know we are fighting or against enemies we can’t recognize. I shared this critical truth with you, as well:

Quick recap:

Busy is a carefully constructed strategy created by the Enemy to destroy us in these three ways:

1. Disconnection – when we are busy, we don’t have time for meaningful connection, and we settle for cheap substitutes like social media. 

• Distraction – when we are busy, we become distracted by things that won’t matter next week, next month, or next year. 

• Dismantling – when we are busy, the Enemy takes us apart. Satan’s tag line is this: Stealing, killing, and destroying those that God loves since the beginning of time. The enemy steals our joy, Christ-identity, and peace. He kills our passion and drive to be disciples. And he destroys our relationships, our self-worth, and our ability to see God. 

Worry, stress, pressure, exhaustion, sickness, and depression begin to dismantle us bit-by-bit from the inside out – until one day we can no longer fake fine. Busy negates gratitude because we can’t slow down long enough to see the good. Joy comes when we appreciate the beauty of moments, but Busy has us hurrying through most of our moments. 

Often, busy breeds resentment – we become tired, worn down, emotionally spent, and mentally exhausted – and unknowingly attribute all that to those we said yes to or those who fill our schedules. Busy does not work long-term and the consequences always catch up to us. 

Busy says “in a few minutes” or “I’ll get that done later.” Usually, what we are putting off is more important than what we are doing in that moment to appease the pressure we feel to satisfy Busy. 

Don’t misunderstand, there are things we must get done in life and I’m certainly not advocating for living below our potential, not fulfilling our calling, not living life to the fullest, or being lazy. What I am saying is that if we are running from one event, one deadline, or one appointment to the next, we are going to crash and burn eventually. Busy is not healthy or sustainable. 

What in your life is keeping you from living up to your potential?

What in your life are you busy with that keeps you from prioritizing your purpose? 

What are you busy with that has you living as a smaller version of yourself?

What is taking time away from things you know are more important? 

What is robbing you of rest? Comparison? Envy? Grudges? Worry? World affairs? 

What is keeping you busy and distracted from God’s Word?

Busy is a frighteningly effective strategy of Satan and his evil band of brothers to keep us from everything that God has for us – His healing, His blessings, His peace, His joy, and so much more. 

Busy disables our ability to think clearly, live creatively, enjoy the moment, and make good decisions. If we don’t stop and recognize what we are doing to ourselves, before long, we will become enslaved to our schedules and to things we think we must do. 

Time is the most undervalued commodity in our society, but it should be the one thing we all use with thought and care and fiercely protect. You can buy a lot of things in this life, but you can’t buy even one more second of time. 

So, how do we fight back against the world’s over-evaluation and coveting of busy? 

Here are 3 Ways to Win the “Busy” Battle 

The first strategy to defeat busy is to understand rest. 

The type of rest I am talking about isn’t just getting adequate sleep at night (although that is important). The rest I am referring to is resting in Jesus. 

 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.  Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus said come.  He didn’t say come after you’ve marked everything off your to-do list.  As it is in this world, busy is normal and rest is abnormal – but we’ve got it backwards and it’s time to get it right. 

Jesus tells us to come to Him so that He can give us His rest (Matthew 11:28) – meaning His peace, His quietness in our souls, His calmness in the storms of life, His joy, His contentment, and His assurance that He’s got us. 

Our hearts, minds, and souls crave the rest that only Jesus can give. 

Rest in the knowledge that God is in control. 2 Chronicles 20:5,6,9

Rest in the promise that God knows what we need and will provide it. Matthew 6:25-34

Rest knowing that God will help us in our times of need. Psalms 118:6-7

Rest knowing that we are loved (Ephesians 1:4), forgiven (Hebrews 10:17), approved of (Ephesians 2:9), seen (Ephesians 1:12), and chosen (Ephesians 1:11). 

The second strategy to defeat busy is deciding what our non-negotiables in life are and committing to making those things happen every day, week, month, or year. 

I don’t know about you, but when I get to the last days of my life, I want to look back knowing that I spent the days that God afforded me well – that I lived with real purpose, that I developed meaningful connections, that I loved my family and friends well, and that I accomplished what God created me for. 

What about you? Would you describe yourself as busy? What are you busy with and is it worthy of you? It’s time that we decide what the non-negotiables are in our lives and prioritize those things and let go of other things. Always remember that whatever you are saying “yes” to, you are saying “no” to something else. 

Yes, to working late, no to family time. 

Yes, to worry, no to peace.

Yes, to volunteering for a family gathering, no to needed rest. 

Yes, to the third hour of news, no to peaceful thoughts.

There is no way around this principle. Every “yes” has a “no.”

So, what are the non-negotiables in your life? 

• A quiet time with God every day?
• Boundaries with work, technology, or how many commitments you will take on?
• Getting enough sleep at night? 
• Daily exercise? 
• Developing and deepening your relationship with Jesus and those you love?
• Slowing down to breathe, feel your feelings, and process emotions? 
• Quality, focused time with your children and/or spouse? 
• Allowing time in your day for a hobby or something you enjoy?
• Spend time working on yourself? Discovering who you are, accepting who God created you to be, giving yourself grace, changing the way you speak to yourself, etc.  

Only you can decide what the non-negotiables are in your life and that you are done with Busy. There really isn’t a prize at the end for whoever was the busiest in this life (I promise). Busy is a dead end. Jesus came to give us an abundant (plentiful, ample) life – not a busy one. Spend your precious and finite time wisely and in a way that leaves you feeling joyful, content, and satisfied. 

The third strategy to defeat busy is taking control of our schedules. 

Now that you have thought about your non-negotiables, it’s time to start prioritizing those things. Running from one thing to the next and jam-packed schedules is not living – it’s existing – and it’s keeping us from living a meaningful, fulfilling, and purposeful life. 

I recommend getting a piece of paper and listing your non-negotiables on one side and the things currently in your schedule on the other side. You have to feed your kids, go to work, etc., but maybe some of your TV time could be used for one of the non-negotiables. 

It seems like a simplistic and unnecessary exercise to make this list, but right now…busy is winning the battle in too many lives. People don’t know how they are spending their time, or they have no margin in their lives to breathe and relax and it’s making them mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. Worse, they feel unfulfilled and empty because they aren’t living their purpose.

Think of it this way…

Our lives will go this way too if we don’t start taking control of how we spend our time, allowing for margin in our lives, and incorporating resting in God into every single day. 

I encourage you to pray over how you use and schedule your time. For me, I ask God to remove anything from my life (or day) that isn’t from Him or isn’t something that I need because I only want what He has for me. I also ask Him to give me eyes to see what is important. Lastly, I hand my day over to Him. I trust and know that He will do what is best for me and His best is way better than mine. 

God doesn’t want or need our busy, nor has He has called us to be busy. He wants our trust and because He loves us so much, He wants us to rest in Him (Exodus 33:14). God is a giver – we need to learn to be receivers. 

Nothing you do or don’t do will make Jesus love you more or love you less. You are fully loved. You can slow down – you have nothing to prove.

Unravel is available on Kindle & Paperback!

People talk about being busy like it’s an honorable and noble achievement. One would think there was an organization called Busy Doers of America where hundreds of millions of people every day were rushing to pay their membership dues, pick up their Busy Doer uniform, and fall into formation before the Busy Doer leader. And the prize to be won? The coveted and time-honored Busy Doer badge. This sought-after and craved emblem is only given to the best of the best Busy Doers. 

To earn this badge a Busy Doer must be willing to submit to the strict standards of:

• over-working 
• over-committing themselves and their children to activities creating an imbalance
• rarely or never resting –feeling guilty when resting ensuring that the rest isn’t restful
• committing to multi-tasking from morning to night  
• constructing an unreasonable and impossible “to-do” list
• submitting to random inappropriate guilt tests
• agreeing to answer all questions regarding their circumstances using the word “busy”
• tying their self-worth to their busy-ness and their ability to cram as much into every single day as inhumanly possible

A Busy Doer can be confident they are on the path to the revered Busy Badge if they are frequently exhausted, over-whelmed, faking fine, irritable, anxious, depressed, physically ill, emotionally numb, mentally worn out, and lonely. 

But every Busy Doer knows that it will be worth it when the sky parts, the angels sing, and heavens light shines on them as their Busy Doer leader hands them their very own Busy Badge. Just thinking of this moment keeps every prospective Busy Doer Busy Badge wanna-be going.  

And when that glorious day arrives and the Busy Doer recipients think they’ve reached the top of the Busy Doer status, every Busy Doer is informed of the secret, next level in Busy Badges – the Master Busy Badge. This badge comes with the gold-star guarantee of validation, confidence, worthiness, and approval – with the microscopic fine print that says the guarantee isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. 

Are you a card-carrying Busy Doer of America member or do you know someone who is? 

Our culture has found a way to define, brand, and market this word into something that we should strive for every single day of our lives. If a person isn’t busy, they are viewed as “missing out”, “less than” or maybe even “lazy”. 

The carefully crafted and covert, subliminal messaging regarding the status of busy has been masterfully executed in such a way that many don’t even realize that they are bowing down to the false idol of busy. (It’s genius when you think about.) As Christ-followers, we want to stay away from idols, and we shudder at the thought of bowing down to anything or anyone except Jesus. But I am afraid that we are deluding ourselves. At some point in our lives, we have all bowed down to Busy. 

Think about these questions…

Have you been too busy to…?

• help or support a friend?
• connect (outside of a text message or social media) with friends or family?
• help at your church?
• spend quality time with your kids?
• look at your child when they are talking to you?
• do a Bible study?
• meet with God regularly? 
• pray for others or yourself?
• rest?

Friends, we can be just as busy in our minds as we can be in our actions and behaviors. 

Have you been busy …?

• being angry with someone that you had no time to consider forgiveness? 
• worrying about a person or situation to pray about it?
• beating yourself up about everything you are not to recognize everything you are? 

Now, I’m not talking about people who are working long hours at work out of necessity or requirement. Nor am I am talking about short seasons of life where we find ourselves busy. What I am talking about is living our lives in such as a way that busy is the goal and down deep there is a feeling of validation and pride that comes from a schedule that is over-filled.

I am talking about Deliberate Busy.

The act of consciously or subconsciously trying to fill a hole within yourself to meet the needs of significance, connection, value, or worthiness. When we forget Whose we are and the ache in our hearts to be valued gets to be too much, sometimes we will search for our value in being praised for the things we do causing us to pile on more and more doing. 

We get busy with…

Politics, the news, and culture keep us busy with fear, hatred, and divisiveness. 

Worrying about things outside of our control keeps us busy. 

Fixing other people and their problems keeps us busy.

People-pleasing, perfectionism, and trying to control everything in our lives keeps us busy. 

Comparison and trying to keep up with those we admire keeps us busy. 

Judging others and gossiping keeps us busy. 

We get busy with the things of this world and lose sight that God is on the throne and always on the job. 

What He does want is cheerful givers…

Our motives for helping or doing can get out of alignment and instead of giving for the sake of giving, we begin giving for the sake of receiving. Busy promises to fill a void but ends up making the void bigger. 

When I am mindlessly working on my Busy Badge, I am not the best version of myself. My creativity takes a nosedive. Compassion and empathy take a backseat allowing grumpy to set the course. I get worn out and overwhelmed which often leads to feeling stuck – in this state of mind, I can’t accomplish my Busy Doers to-do list which only makes me grumpier. Days, weeks, and months on this dysfunctional cycle leave me depleted, exhausted, and miserable. 

If busy is the gold standard, why are we so tired, empty, unfulfilled, and secretly unhappy? 

Here’s my conclusion on busy:

We’ve been duped – Busy isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a lie we’ve believed that our need for significance, worthiness, love, and connection can be met through our doing. 

Busy is a carefully constructed strategy created by the Enemy to destroy us in these three ways:

1. Disconnection – when we are busy, we don’t have time for meaningful connection, and we settle for cheap substitutes like social media. Busy disconnects us from God and those we love until one day we wake up and our souls are dry and those we love have grown up or moved on. 

• Distraction – when we are busy, we become distracted by things that won’t matter next week, next month, or next year. The purpose that God hid away in each of us collects dust because we are busy chasing things that promise to fill our empty spaces but end up leaving even more empty. 

• Dismantling – when we are busy, the Enemy takes us apart. Satan’s tag line is this: Stealing, killing, and destroying those that God loves since the beginning of time. The enemy steals our joy, Christ-identity, and peace. He kills our passion and drive to be disciples. And he destroys our relationships, our self-worth, and our ability to see God. Worry, stress, pressure, exhaustion, sickness, and depression begin to dismantle us bit-by-bit from the inside out – until one day we can no longer fake fine. 

Busy is a part of Satan’s arsenal of weapons and it is imperative that we understand this weapon and recognize when we are fighting this battle. If we don’t understand how Satan and his band of demons play, we won’t know when we are being played. <Read that again because it is so important to your Christian walk and spiritual growth. 

Spiritual warfare is rarely bold, easily recognizable, or coming at you in such a way that you see it from a mile away. The enemy comes at us with things that often seem nonthreatening and promise good things but, in the end, hurt us. There is often an element of truth to the lie and goodness to the destruction. Satan is strategic, methodical, and incredibly patient. 

Our sly and sneaky destruction happens slowly – with you and I making one seemly non-threatening decision at a time – until one day we find ourselves mentally and emotionally worn out and numb – often looking around and wondering how we got there. 

As it pertains to busy, we’ve been believing the LIE that says:

You need to earn validation, approval, worthiness, and connection. But here’s the truth: We don’t need to get busy earning a Busy Badge to gain validation, approval, worthiness, and connection. We already have those things. As a son or daughter of God, we’ve had them since before we entered this world. 

We are running, striving, and working for something that already belongs to us. Can you see Satan’s cunning methodology here? He has convinced us to work ourselves to the point of exhaustion for something we already have! 

You and I were given – given, as in, gifted – with the Son/Daughter of God badge. We are joint heirs of Jesus (Romans 8:17), planned for before the foundations of the earth (Ephesians 1:4), and purchased by the blood of Jesus (Ephesians 1:14). No doing required. 

God loves us so much that our being is all that He requires of us. Busy says we need to earn our worthiness – but God declared us worthy before our souls ever hit the planet and we had the chance to do or earn anything. 

Give some thought to these questions…

What are you “busy” with? 

What has “busy” gotten you? 

When you get to the end of your life, will your “busy” be time well-spent? 

We’ll continue the discussion about Deliberate Busy in the next post. I’ll show you how to fight back against this type of spiritual warfare and how to live the abundant life (John 10:10) that Jesus came to give us.  

Until Next Time,

Unravel is available now available on Kindle or Paperback!

The church is often called a hospital for sinners, but maybe it needs to be called a rehabilitation facility. Hospitals, for the most part, are short-term stops that patch people up and send them home to heal on their own. Patients are admitted and cared for primarily by nurses, doctors, and other staff. They do the bulk of the work.

On the other hand, rehabilitation centers have counselors and medical professionals on staff to assist people in their recovery. Assist. The responsibility for recovery is primarily on the patient. How hard a person works has a direct result on the progress that person makes in their recovery. The team of professionals at the rehabilitation center are there to hold people accountable, push them, and provide the resources they need to help themselves. But they are not there to do the work for people.

Jesus came to this lost, broken, and dark world to:

• save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15)
• bring light to the darkness (John 12:46)
• destroy the devil (1 John 3:8)
• preach the Good News (Luke 4:18-19)
• to serve and give His life as a ransom (Mark 10:45)
• reveal God’s love for sinners (John 3:16)
• bind up broken hearts (Isaiah 61:1-3)
• grant us adoption into God’s family (Galatians 4:6)
• make us holy (Luke 1:35)
• satisfy our needs (John 4:13-14)
• reveal God’s glory (John 1:14)

One of the many things I love about Jesus is that He was a “boat rocker.”

The Pharisees of His day were considered the religious elite and the people that called the shots in the Jewish world. If you were a “somebody” in the Jewish community traveling from one town to the next, the Pharisees would expect you to meet with them upon hitting the city limits. Instead, Jesus skipped the hoity-toity Pharisee meet and greet and made a bee-line for the sick, hurting, and messy. The sick, hurting, and messy was the very group the Pharisees avoided so they didn’t take kindly to this snub. For Jesus to rather spend His time with the people they deemed undesirable was utterly unthinkable to them.

Time and time again the Pharisees tried to catch Jesus in a “goof” but they were no match for the Son of God. Jesus came to hang out with messy people who knew on some level that they needed help and saving.

Jesus healed wounds and met needs…

The New Testament gives us a glimpse of the miracles performed by Jesus and witnessed by His disciples and hundreds of others who were present.

• Jesus turned water into wine (John 2:1-11).
• He healed the blind (Matthew 9:27-31) and gave hearing to the deaf (Mark 7:27-31).
• The lame walked (Mark 9:1-8).
• Storms died down (Luke 8:22-25).
• The dead came back to life (John 11:1-45).
• A sack lunch meant for one, fed well over five thousand (Luke 9:10-17).
• Jesus walked on water (John 6:6-16) and cast out demons (Mark 1:21-27).
• He gave Peter and Andrew the greatest catch of their fisherman lives (John 5:1-11).
• Leprosy was healed more than once (Luke 17:11-19, Matthew 8:1-4).
• He healed a woman with a bleeding issue and called her daughter (Luke 8:42-48).
• Peter was able to pay the Temple taxes out of the mouth of a fish (Matthew 17:24-27).

All-in-all there are thirty-seven documented miracles in the New Testament, but we know that Jesus did more because John tells us that what is in the Bible only scratches the surface (John 21:25).

Jesus was all about rehabilitation…

It might seem like Jesus did all the work in helping these people, but that isn’t the case. In all of these miracle moments, the hurting and/or their families had to do their part. They had to seek Jesus out, ask for His help, believe that He could help, and then do what He told them to do, to get well. This is rehabilitation. Those that received a miracle, got it because they were willing to do their part – no matter how small a part it was.

Hurting people need rehabilitation. Jesus knew that. Working for something that we want always means more to us than getting it for nothing. There is value in that which we obtain from our hard work. Salvation is a 100% free gift – but our inner healing is a partnership with Jesus.

As Christ-followers…

We are to follow Christ’s example – hang out with the messy, wash feet in humility, and love without condition. It’s not an easy follow, but that is why Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to help us follow.

For the church…

• Sharing the Good News is a given.
• Bible studies are vital.
• Community giving is essential.
• Corporate worship is a must.
• Connection is an unequivocal need.

The church is made up of Christ-followers and therefore, should be seeking out and associating with the messy, washing feet in humility, and loving without condition. Unravel was written for the messy to provide a resource for rehabilitation. Cultivating an Unravel program at your church or organization is an opportunity for your people to “wash feet” by sharing their stories – the highs, the lows, and everything in between. As individual Christ-followers and as a body of believers, an Unravel program has the unique opportunity to love without judgement in a way that will change lives.

Now, more than ever, the church as a whole needs a re-branding.

Too many people see Christians and the church as a bunch of prideful and fake Pharisees that love with condition. It breaks my heart to read about people that have experienced shame at the hands of a church. To know that hurting people have been judged, ignored, and/or discarded by the one place they should have been welcomed, seen, and loved hurts my heart.

Friends, God’s name and character are so distorted in the hearts and minds of the people in this world. Too many people think God doesn’t want or care about them. Countless people think God is judging their every move and waiting for them to mess up. Hurting people are meandering their way through this storm-tossed world, sure that they have messed up too many times to be loved by God.

Unravel may be the most important program that you offer at your church or organization.

Unravel is about healing the wounds of the heart and soul, but equally important, it’s about clearing up the distortion of who God is and how He feels about His sons and daughters. The heart of Unravel is about being the church – really being the church. The size of your church or organization is irrelevant – 30 people or 30,000 people – it doesn’t matter. Changing one life can have a ripple effect in the lives around that person and in the generations that come after.

Heaven rejoices when even one person repents (Luke 15:7).

If you want to start an Unravel program at your church or organization, please know that I am here to help. Comprehensive consultation, leader training, Unravel materials, and the help you need to get your program off the ground is available. The cost is based on the number of people participating and any necessary travel. Putting together a successful, growing, and thriving Unravel program requires planning and preparation.

Once you have your plan in place and the prep work done, the program will be highly manageable and the fruits of your labor will be obvious. People will see the transformation in family and friends. Word will spread about the program that offers healing and the people that love without judgement. As you continue to offer Unravel groups, more and more people will come.

Unravel Consultation & Training…

A few of the issues to consider when developing an Unravel program are:

• Confidentiality
• Leader Qualifications
• Working with volunteers
• Deciding on a budget
• Leader Training
• Scheduling
• Group Guidelines
• Holding group members & leaders accountable
• Deciding how to go through the Unravel book
• Ongoing Leader Training
• And more!

If you are interested in starting an Unravel program, click here: UNRAVEL PROGRAM

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. Acts 20:28 NIV

Until next time,

I’ve found that most people are convinced that the events in their past are done and over with and they’ve moved on. Essentially, they washed their hands of the people and the experiences that didn’t feel good. For others, they wouldn’t call the dysfunction of their childhood “trauma” so there is an assumption that they are fine. Additionally, I’ve met people who described their childhood as “not that bad” only to find out that their adult struggles were tied directly to unhealed wounds from their younger years.

The reality is this: we subconsciously try to heal our wounds by repeating patterns that bring up the same pain. Sounds like a counterintuitive, sadistic, internal homing beacon, right? So, how do you recalibrate this homing beacon to attract healthy love, joy and peace instead of pain, difficulty and heartache? The answer lies in discovering your faulty patterns and replacing them with new, healthy patterns. Faulty patterns are tricky though because they tend to fly under the radar causing us to function on autopilot until we run out of fuel and land or crash and burn.

First you need to understand trauma & its covert role in your life.

Trauma is typically associated with the idea of violence or negative, life-altering events. While these types of events are traumatic, they aren’t the only events that cause trauma in our lives. By definition trauma is a person’s emotional response to a distressing experience.

So, what is a distressing experience? This is where the definition of trauma becomes personal and unique to every individual on the planet. What is distressing (painful, scary, or upsetting) to one person may not be distressing at all to another. Alternatively, two people could experience the same distressing event and feel differently about the effect. For example, if the two people were asked to rate the trauma associated with an experience on a scale of 1-10 (low to high), one person might rate the event at a 4, while the other person said it was an 8. Same painful or fearful experience – but different emotional responses.

Varying degrees of trauma responses in families is typical. The emotional abuse suffered by siblings is felt, experienced, internalized, and processed differently by each sibling. The imprint these traumatic events made is as unique as their finger prints. As humans we are not the same. In the same way that you have a unique finger print and retina, you also have a unique emotional response.

Comparing your trauma to someone else’s trauma is like comparing apples to oranges. It doesn’t work. On top of that, it is unnecessary. A person can drown in six feet or six inches of water. The human blueprint designed by God did not include any acceptable amount of trauma that would not cause damage to the mind, heart, and soul.

Time heals trauma is a myth.

It’s also important to understand that traumatic events don’t just go away and time does not heal all wounds. The pain of the past is with you every day effecting the decisions you make, your emotional responses, and how you see the world and everyone in it. Studies have shown that autoimmune diseases, heart disease, chronic headaches and pain, insomnia, and other physical ailments are related to undealt with pain in our lives. Anxiety and depression are also linked to trauma that is hidden away.

Childhood pain wreaks havoc by trying to correct itself in our adult years through relationships and other experiences. For example, if you struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, fixing others, approval-seeking, or peace-keeping, you have unhealed wounds. A lack of boundaries is another indicator of unhealed wounds. An attraction to the same type of man or woman that isn’t good for you is also an indicator of pain that has been locked away rather than dealt with. We attract dysfunction into our lives based on the dysfunction within us.

“In my years of experience working with hurting people, I’ve seen individuals unsure of why they needed help with their past or how it would help with their life now, moving forward and trusting God’s prompting. The decision to move forward became clear when the pain of their past surfaced and illuminated the mess it was making in the present.”

– Unravel, page iv

Unhealed wounds and unmet needs are trauma mess-makers.

Unhealed wounds are traumas from abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc. Unmet needs come from a lack of love, security, safety, significance, attention, etc. These wounds and neglected needs are little gremlins that pack a powerful punch. They run rampant and unchecked in our minds and hearts making messes and causing regrets. The Gremlins in my life were getting fed after midnight on a daily basis. For years, I fed them with perfectionism, people-pleasing, and approval-seeking…to name a few. When I stopped feeding them by acknowledging the pain in my life and my unmet needs, my gremlins packed up and left. Vulnerability and honesty are the keys to dealing with the pain and unmet needs we are struggling with.

Pretending like we are “over it” (whatever “it” is) causes us to walk around faking fine. Worse yet, pretending like we weren’t hurt at all is what leads to us inflicting the same pain on those around us. Cycles of emotional wounding, physical or sexual abuse, toxic shame, and chronic fear and anxiety get handed down from one generation to the next.

You can take the pain of your past, grieve it, process it, learn from it, and flip the script for your children and all those around you. What we don’t deal with from our past, we leave to our children as an inheritance. Making the decision that generational habits and trauma stops with you is powerful. The ability to change your life and the lives that come after you is profound.

Unravel was written for this reason: to change lives.

Getting honest about what hurt you and allowing God to heal those places of your heart, mind, and soul is critical. Often, we try to fix ourselves. We read books, talk to counselors, or try to power through something that promises hope but the mess is still there. You and I can’t fix ourselves. Only the One who created you, can fix you. Inviting Jesus into your pain is the healing balm you’ve searched for in all the wrong places.

Unpacking the pain of the past is only the first part of Unravel. Life doesn’t change until we learn new strategies in dealing with conflict, pain, disappointment, anger, fear, shame, and guilt. It doesn’t do any good to clean out the pain of the past, but continue living in the same ways that led to a dysfunctional life. You have to live differently to live differently.

Unravel will open your eyes to your dysfunction and give you new strategies for living your life with joy, hope, and gratitude. You will walk lighter through this world. Peace will replace pain. Confidence in knowing that you are armed with the right strategies for any battle will replace anxiety. The purpose you find in the difficult moments of your life will bring fulfillment.

Abundant Life

Jesus said in John 10:10 “… I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  Jesus came to give you and me a life full of hope, promise, peace, joy, and freedom. He went to the cross with everything that weighs us down and left it in hell where it belongs. You don’t have to carry it anymore. He loves you and wants you to live your best life.

Are you ready to Unravel?

If you would like to learn more about Unravel, click here: Unravel

I toyed with the idea of writing the book that would become Unravel for nearly two years. It would seem like a great idea one day and the worst idea I’d ever had the next day. I had three or four “go-to” excuses on speed dial when the thought of writing a book seemed like a good idea. Excuses like: I’m too busy leading groups at church, work is crazy right now, homeschooling my kids takes time, and I don’t know anything about publishing a book. My faith had an ebb and flow and was plagued with self-doubt.

Procrastination came courtesy of the little voice inside my head that said “who do you think you are?” or my personal favorite “you’re going to fall flat on your face.” Between excuses and procrastination, I went back and forth like a six-year-old on a playground swing.

God laid out my purpose in 2015.

Leading emotionally abused women to a life of freedom from their past pain so that they could be all that God created them to be was my purpose. So, that is what I did. I served, led countless groups, and taught classes. My focus was on learning and studying everything I could get my hands on regarding shame, fear, guilt, abuse, and anger. As I worked with people, I realized that depression, anxiety, and suicide were common struggles. I faithfully served in my purpose and worked with hundreds of women to help them let go of the things that were holding them hostage.

In 2016 God altered my purpose to include coaching leaders. Instead of leading one group at a time, I led four groups at a time, and helped train and build up some amazing leaders. I still worked with people one-on-one. My teaching, administrative, and leadership skills also continued to develop.

During this time God was opening my eyes to really see Him and the enemy in all new ways. Understanding how the enemy was working shifted my perspective on everything that I experienced in life and the curve balls that came at me every day. The concepts and strategies that I used in my own life and taught others to employ in their lives took on new meaning. #radicalgrowth.

During this time, I also had some incredible mentors and friends that modeled love, grace, and the art of ministry to the hurting. Without them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, nor would I have written Unravel. God placed unbelievable women in my life that coached me and taught me how to dig into God’s Word like I’d never done before. Women that I could share my heart with without judgement, women that challenged my thinking, and women that saw something in me, that at the time, I didn’t see in myself.

A leap of faith.

Again, my purpose was about to evolve. In 2016 God altered my purpose and handed it to me, but this time I felt like He was asking me to take a leap of faith. The kind of leap that is hard and scary and requires you to step out of your comfort zone. The restlessness and the fulfillment in Him that I sought was only going to come by jumping off the metaphorical cliff and trusting that He was the parachute.

I’m not going to lie – I wrestled with this for months. Naturally, I liked my comfort zone – a lot.  I was good at what I was doing – leading, teaching, and coaching women and new leaders. But the icky feeling of uncomfortable was like a never-ending walk on a day with 96% humidity.

As the world continued to be shut down in September of 2020, I felt increasingly restless. The sense that there was more for me to do began to wear me down.

God does that…makes you uncomfortable until you move.

The idea of writing a book was becoming abundantly clear as my ever-evolving purpose. What was incredibly painful was the realization that I needed to step back from leading and coaching to answer God’s call. This was agonizing. I loved my groups. Teaching was my passion. And, developing leaders brought me such joy. Stepping back hurt, but I knew that I was supposed to do this. God had more.

I had swatted at the writing bug like an annoying gnat for months, but it would prove to be relentless. Waving the white flag in surrender was the only pest control that would work. I sat down on a quiet Saturday morning in mid-September and stared at a blank computer screen and prayed for inspiration. It wasn’t long before the words poured out – no doubt the work of the Holy Spirit.

The work I had avoided for months became an obsession. I worked nights and weekends on Unravel. God would show me things, and I would write. God would speak to me through sermons, songs, and sometimes even the darkness of this world, and I would write more. Quotes on Instagram or chapters in a book I was reading sparked more words. Words and more words.

I started to allow myself to dream bigger and visualize Unravel being read by hurting people all over the world. This both excited me and scared the life out of me. The more I wrote and dreamed, the more the enemy tried to knock me down and cancel me out.

But God – two of my favorite words.

But God…

– sent encouragement from friends through perfectly timed messages.

– sent the words I needed to hear through a sermon that ignited my dimming passion.

– provided the resources to publish the book I took a leap of faith to write.

– helped me to maintain my job, my family, and my sanity.

– continued to remind me of His goodness and energize me when I thought I was too tired to take another step.

But God.

Jumping off the cliff of faith.

In February of 2021, I took the plunge and sent Unravel to a publisher and began the very real step of unleashing all those words into the world. Words – I cried, prayed, and agonized over. In the end, they are words that I pray glorify God and change the lives of countless men and women.

Unravel is in the final stages of publishing and will be released soon. Stay tuned. I am excited to see where God takes this book, this blog, and this ministry in the coming months and years. This blog will be a place of helping you go deeper with God, unraveling your past, learning to living your best life, and most of all…encouragement. This is a judgement-free-zone. While you may feel challenged at times, please know that you are never judged…only loved.

Lastly, we all have a past and sin that we struggle with – our goal is progress, never perfection. Those struggles are covered by the blood of Jesus and His boundless love. Nothing in your life is too messy for Him to fix or clean up. On the hard days, remember that you are loved, as-is. The world says “when you get your act together,” but God says “come as you are.”

If you would like to learn more about Unravel, click here: Unravel

Until next time,

Now may God, the fountain of hope, fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super-abundance until you radiate with hope. Romans 15:13 TPT